Joe's feelings

Sunday Morning I got a call from my Sister Susie that my Dad was on the way to the hospital. He had fell on Saturday and had been acting a little odd the last few days.When he fell he hit his head on the cold air return and really caused a gash in his head. At that moment they were not sure if he just tripped or passed out or what.

When they got him to the hospital they had a cat scan done and the first thing my family was told was that he had had another stroke. Not good...They wanted to confirm this with an MRI but were unable to because he was not stable. He kept throwing up and was all around not good.LeAnn and I went to go visit him on Sunday February 27th.

We went to the ICU to see my Father.He seemed okay. He said hello when we arrived, held my hand and was I believe aware that we were there. He said I love you when we left and I did think he knew we were there.We would have stayed longer but LeAnn had to work.

Monday I went to go and see him at Lunch time. He again seemed like he was in good spirits and happy to have guests. At this time they had a chance to do the MRI and found that my dad actually had a tumor in his brain. They are speculating that this was what caused his stroke 16 months ago. They were unable to see it then because of all the blood that was present when they did the MRI way back then.Now they say the tumor is about the size of a tennis ball. It is operable but we as a family believe that my father would not want that. We all met on Monday night and agreed that we would not have the operation done. It was a tough choice. An operation would only extend his life 3 to 6 months and he would not have even the quality of life he had a month ago when we was still struggling and sad with his original stroke.Conveniently my Mother finally got his living will finished only days before this happened. A little bit of revelation I believe.

I felt inclined to head over to the Hospital early this morning. I found my Mother and sister Tahna talking to the Hospice lady. She was explaining the procedure. My Mother wanted my Dad to come home as soon as possible so I took the remainder of today off and went over to my Mothers to move some furniture around to accommodate a hospital bed. We got that all sorted out and I went home.I got home to LeAnn getting ready for work. We spoke briefly on what we should do. We decided that we would leave the kids home the next morning and go spend the afternoon with my Dad. We decided that we would tell the kids what is going on in the morning.At dinner Seth asked my about Grandpa so I did not have the heart to hold him off. So I told him what was going on. I explained everything.I could tell that Seth was sad about it but the other two I was not sure. Kamryn just kept repeating what I was saying along with a few mixed words of her own.Of course she got most of it right and she just kept saying "Grandpa is dying, he is dead". I though wow, lets not repeat that tomorrow while we are there. Maybe she was a little young to be in the room during the conversation.The one I was most worried about is Ryker. Would he understand what is going on? He is 4 but smart as a whip. Tonight was bath night and I asked him what he was feeling about Grandpa. He told me sadness. He hesitated then said, but I don't think I am as sad as you. I asked him why he would think that. He said, because he is your Dad. A pure example of how smart kids truly are.I decided to ask the same think to Seth and he also said he was sad about Grandpa and said he would miss him.. He then asked if they could still visit Grandma when he was gone. I told them absolutely. She would love that.

From Joe